Thomas Edison failed a bunch of times when he tried to make a light bulb, but he kept at it. What did he have to say about his failures?
He found a thousand ways how NOT to make a lightbulb...which led him to the ONE success.
When it came close to the time for me to quit smoking, I re-examined all of my failures and from what didn't work, I discovered the strategies that would help me succeed.
Smoke-free after nearly four years, I won that battle due to my willingness to try a bunch of things that everyone said would fail...purely based on looking at ME.
Why would I think dieting would be any different?
I dunno. I just did. I thought it was all about math: calculate how many calories go in and how many go out, and then voila. Weight loss. When that didn't work, I thought it was also about adding in some behavior modification: go to the gym three times a week, work your motherfucking ass off and track how many calories go in. Voila. Weight loss.
Eat more. Eat less. Eat more veggies. Eat mini meals. Eat one big meal and then go smaller throughout the rest of the day. Eat vegetarian. Don't eat processed foods. Skip dessert and sweets. Don't deprive yourself. Sleep more. Get up earlier to work out. Sleep less. Don't eat late. Eat when you're hungry. Maybe you're eating for the wrong reasons. Eliminate fat. Eat mono-saturated fats. Limit your fat intake. Eat more fiber. Go gluten-free.
It all whirled around my head. I followed the advice. Most of it. Some of it conflicted, so I tried one way first and then the other way. I kept gaining...aka failing.
The proverbial lightbulb went on over my head: I've found a thousand ways how not to lose weight...so I don't need to try those again....but there's one way that I succeeded before. I was on this protein shake diet. Aside from the fact that it very nearly ruined my digestion, I lost 70 pounds in about 5 months. How could I take the basic premise from it and not sabotage my innards?
What did the diet do besides limit calories? It limited carbs. An extremely low-carb diet can tax the kidneys, but what about a modified low-carb diet? What if I kept my carbs under 100 grams? That was do-able...but I was going to have to figure out what I could eat. No sammies for lunch? No potato chips? No oatmeal? No hummus? Limited booze?
What the hell was I supposed to eat?
I had to rethink EVERYTHING I ate, and then cook stuff ahead of time....and then I had to figure out how to package food to carry it to work with me.
Fuck.
And so I figured it out. For the first few days, I felt a bit off -- dizzy and out of it. I had a nagging headache. I was tired, crabby. I wanted to crawl into a dark room and sit there quietly until this feeling went away.
It wasn't unlike the first few days of not smoking.
After one month, I've lost a little bit of weight. My clothes fit a little better. I've learned to buy chicken breasts in the frozen 4-lb. bags and dump them into the crock pot twice a week so I can make chicken salad, pulled chicken, barbequed chicken and chicken with vegetables in minutes. Venison, pork tenderloin and lean cuts of beef also work well. I boil eggs first thing in the morning so I can have them hard-boiled. Plain yogurt mixes well with homemade jam or freshly harvested honey. Berries are in season, and I can eat a full cup a few times a day. Cereal with milk is key first thing in the morning for energy. Freshly sliced tomatoes with balsamic vinegar and Parmesan cheese is yummy. Dark chocolate is a great way to handle my chocolate cravings.
At least it's not failure....and it's too soon to rejoice for success....but at least it's looking up.
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